Halloween is a Bad Bitch Pressure Cooker
Written by Leah (Bunny) Overstreet
Image courtesy of @byjadegreene
The first time that I felt sexy was Halloween in the 4th grade. I was Abbey Bominable—a Slavic-coded bombshell from my favorite doll line and webisode series, Monster High. I felt so fabulous in my pink and blue bodycon mini dress and faux fur leg warmers, and barely cared that I was grounded on the most iconic holiday of the year. I’d been caught by my mom searching the word“ sex” over and over again on YouTube—to no avail—only to have my childhood curiosities betrayed by an internet search history I did not know was being recorded. Just my dumb luck!
So, I spent that Halloween all dolled up with no where to go but my own front door, handing out candy to kids littler than me (and at least a few good years off from searching up porn on the family computer). Nevertheless I swung my bundles—which were more platinum than platinum and full of hair tinsel—over my shoulder and clocked into my Halloween punishment shift. Looking back, it’s hilarious how grown and sexy I felt, but that night would mark the beginning of my love for costumes and the impact of transformation on my sexuality and femininity.
I would soon find a similar thrill creating my first online persona on MovieStarPlanet. The virtual reality full of internet chat rooms and exclusive YouTube comment sections was a gateway drug for a girl like me, looking to experiment with her self expression. Logging on meant stepping into an identity that was meticulously crafted through hours of earning fake money so I could afford to become everything I’d ever wanted to be.
Much like Halloween, an online avatar allowed me to full-send a look that would otherwise feel too far away from who I’d always been. In the real world, I went to a school with a uniform and had yet to stray much further than Osh Kosh B’gosh or Gymboree for my clothes. But on MovieStarPlanet, I was a full blown emo girl with creepers and heavy makeup and choppy, hot pink scene hair. This experiment of personal style was ideal because I didn’t have to actually risk showing up to school and claiming the“ new me” before giving it a test drive on the digital scene. The internet, much like Halloween, was a place for me to try out a brand new identity.
“In the real world, I went to a school with a uniform and had yet to stray much further than Osh Kosh B’gosh or Gymboree for my clothes. But on MovieStarPlanet, I was a full blown emo girl with creepers and heavy makeup and choppy, hot pink scene hair...the internet, much like Halloween, was a place for me to try out a brand new identity.”
Halloween is a Weird Girl sanctuary. You could even call it my coward’s glow up. As an alternative femme dipping my toe into more experimental fashion, Halloween has consistently been an excuse for me to take risks with the safety net of costume.
Now, at 24 years old, I’ve traded in my costumes painstakingly selected from the Party City catalogue in favor of more DIY ensembles…which usually end up as some variation of a pasty and a panty, sometimes a corset, and always a Pleaser. As someone who has the delight of dressing rather eccentric year round, Halloween is my time to up the ante. I’m always over the top, so how do I make it drag? I’m always naked so how do I get naked-er?
Halloween has grown to be a time where I play and try things that I otherwise couldn’t justify spending the time or money on. It’s the season of excuses, an excuse to bedazzle a full strap on harness, purchase my first lace front wig, and convince my fabulous older sister that I actually do need her to buy me a breast plate. As someone who is frequently up to show girl activities, each of these items will absolutely come in handy for some performance or another. So either I get hotter and cooler or I try something and decide it was a one night stand rather than a new love. There are certainly worse things than being a little fashionably passed around.
The only way to discover yourself is to have the chance to go looking. There was once a time (up until my first year of college) where I wouldn’t even wear makeup! I was a clear mascara and tinted lip balm girl for soooo long—and I was soooo obnoxious about it. Until one fateful Halloween where I finally had a reason to play around with makeup and never looked back.
From Baby to Baddie:
This Halloween I’m hoping to reach new baddie heights! I’m challenging myself to try things I’ve never done because I think I’m due for a hot girl upgrade.
