Advice From A Retired Self-proclaimed Slut

Written by Jasper Arend

Situationship season is nearly over, so here’s my advice as a bitch who’s been around the block and had a fair share of scares. Summer flings to fall romance is a universal cycle, so keep these things in mind, xoxo.

1. You look good when you feel good

   Skimpy is sexy, sure

   But are you confident?

   It’s how you wear it

   Not what you wear

   Though tiny dresses do look good on everyone

   So does a turtleneck and flowy pants

2. Don’t thrive off validation from men

   Men can be eye candy

   Sweet, sexy, charming 

   But they aren’t the air you breathe

   When you tie your self-worth to a man’s perspective

   You lose your power as a woman

   Don’t be a pick me and don’t fill voids with emotionally unavailable men

3. If it doesn’t work then leave

   If you find yourself a partner who seems worthwhile

   Don’t stick around when it starts to be less than

   You’re sexy and gorgeous

   You’ll find love again

   Don’t build up who they were when that’s not who they are

   Pack up, heal, and try again.

4. There’s plenty of fish in the sea

   You’re at the fucking beach girl

   Look at the specimen around you

   There’s def someone your type checking you out

   Especially when you look this good

   Summer is the time to have fun and flirt

   So catch your damn fish

5. Summer is seasonal

   Don’t be sad if your confidence  isn’t there yet 

   Some boy broke your spirits?

   Rely on your girlfriends

   They’ll be there for you

   Summer is seasonal

   But good friendships are lifetimes long