Sapphic Game Night is Redefining L.A.’s Queer Scene
Written by Sophie Abbott
Two lesbian best friends walk into a dive bar, and what happens next is pure magic. Chloë and Monica are the founders of Sapphic Game Night, a new community-oriented pop-up that operates out of 4100 Bar in Los Angeles. Though they briefly met last December at FUTCH (a bi-monthly queer party), their friendship really took off about six months ago. Now, they’re practically inseparable -- Sapphic Game Night was born from showing each other TikToks in Chloë’s car, a cornerstone ritual of girl-best-friendship. What they ask me to emphasize through fits of laughter is this: dearest reader, they are not dating!
“ [Monica] came across a TikTok of these girls playing Minecraft at a bar -- they brought their computers to a bar and were playing Minecraft,” Chloë tells me,“ And then I found one where these girls brought Monopoly to a bar and played it all together. And I was like, That is so much fun! We need to do that!”
What started as a trial run with friends quickly turned into a word-of-mouth phenomenon, with the girls, gays, and theys quickly invading their local Sunset Junction haunt.“ [4100 Bar] is such a straight space,” Monica jokes, while Chloë chimes in,“ Yeah, I feel like a lot of queer women are always like, I hate going there ’cause there’s a bunch of men there. And I was like, Well, we should change that. Because it has a big outdoor area, and it’s free. There’s a photobooth! And a bunch of outdoor picnic tables which [are] perfect to play games.”
You heard that right -- Sapphic Game Night is completely free to attend. In a social climate where community is hard to find, much less without paying for a membership, SGN aims to provide a safe, relaxed environment for queer Angelenos. People are welcome to bring their own games, but neither Monica nor Chloë want anyone to feel like they have to spend money to make friends. And despite meetups being held at a bar, there’s no pressure to drink.“ People don’t go to get drunk, people go to make friends,” Monica assures me.“ And another thing we’ve noticed is that people are not on their phones. Everyone is there; everyone is talking to each other, getting to know each other, and doing everything they can to not be on their phones. Which is really nice -- it’s so easy to just shut people out, to be on your phone because it’s comfortable, so I really like to see people go out of their way to meet new people. And the next time they come back, they have a new friend.”
Sapphic Game Night started only a few months ago, after Chloë’s birthday party in August, which inspired the girls to start scheduling the monthly meetups on Mondays.“ Because it’s after a weekend, people have a lot to talk about. And it’s all slightly-familiar faces, like, Wait, I kind-of saw you at this event, but I didn’t say hi. You get a moment [to be] sober and [are] able to talk to somebody and actually become their friend,” Monica elaborates.“ And you can wear whatever you want!” Chloë adds.“ People show up in their comfy clothes and nobody cares. I have a lot of sensory issues and sometimes I can’t dress up. So it’s nice to have a space to hang out with people in public, to get out of the house without a bunch of pressure.” If you find yourself craving post-weekend debriefs with new friends, and all the added comforts of home, Sapphic Game Night is here to fulfill that dream.
“If you find yourself craving post-weekend debriefs with new friends, and all the added comforts of home, Sapphic Game Night is here to fulfill that dream.”
When I bring up my lifelong struggle with“ game anxiety” -- my blood pressure spikes as soon as someone at a party or family function starts reading game instructions aloud, for fear of looking incompetent -- the two laugh and nod their heads in understanding. Their advice for anyone with game anxiety? You don’t have to play! If you just want to watch, feel free. You can sit in a circle where some people are playing games and most are just hanging out and chatting. Rules are followed loosely until everyone gets distracted by socializing, and then the games are restarted; it’s all casual. You can even get up in the middle of a game and ask someone to take your place -- anything goes at SGN, as long as you’re having fun the way you want to. Feeling flirtatious? Hit the pool table, or start a chess match! It’s great if you participate in the game of love, though there is a purposeful emphasis on SGN’s Partiful invites:“ This is not a meet-your-future-wife kind of setup.”
“ As someone with POTS and autism, having a queer event that isn’t alcohol [or] romance-based was something that I really, really wanted,” Chloë explains.“ I’m glad Monica was on the same page as me with that. Having a space where there’s no pressure to flirt with people, like, Oh, I need to make out with somebody tonight… I love [romance-based spaces], but not all the time.”
“ We’re both from L.A. You have people coming in and out of the city all the time, moving in, moving out, whatever,” Monica says. “ [Sapphic Game Night] is nice for people who have just moved! It’s like, Hey, I can go to this thing even though I don’t know anyone and I can meet people. Because I would be horrified to move to L.A., have no friends, and have to go to cliquey events. There is no [question whether you will] fit in with people because we really do go out of our way to make sure everyone feels included.” This is the core of Sapphic Game Night -- growing up as lesbians, Chloë and Monica both felt like the odd ones out, so they want everyone to feel welcome. New Angelenos are encouraged to attend, as long as they respect the locals and are open to forward-thinking conversations. Transplant discourse can be tricky, but the duo strive to make their values known through their quickly-building platform.
“ Monica’s a Sociology major, and I’m a History student,” Chloë tells me,“ So we both really like to let people learn things. If someone says something that’s [misguided], I’m gonna inform them.”
Non-accusatory conversations about L.A. and the world make SGN a safe space for people to learn and develop respect for their new home -- now more than ever, it’s important for young, queer people to stay informed and tuned in to their surroundings.“ Moving into a new place and not really knowing about where you’re moving to, especially when you come from a small place or a homogenous society, [you might not know] that Silver Lake is one of the most gentrified neighborhoods in this entire town.” Monica says.
“ Being queer is hard. And being in L.A. itself is also hard. We just want people to learn about things in a kind way,” Chloë clarifies, while Monica adds,“ It’s not a wokeness competition. There’s just a standard in our core values.”
To Chloë, living in L.A. requires a desire to be politically aware.“ Monica and I are very prominent on how political our queerness is, and I think that plays a big part in what we bring to a queer circle or community. It means a lot to us. It’s not gonna be like, We’re all queer so nothing else matters! It matters so much in L.A. -- if we’re gonna be part of an L.A. queer space, we’re really big on making that known. Monica had the idea to make our November game night a food fundraiser because of SNAP benefits being cut. We really try to make [our values] clear with what we do.”
For the brief time Sapphic Game Night has existed, it has clearly already left an impact on its community. When I ask Monica and Chloë about their favorite memories involving SGN, their faces light up.
Monica’s memory takes place during the second-ever Sapphic Game Night:“ One of my friends runs their own Sapphic Skate Night, and they had everyone from that group show up to our game night! I thought that was the sweetest thing ever -- because they know this means a lot to me, and I know how much skating means to them. So for them to rally up ten or fifteen people -- I was like, It means so much that you went out of your way to convince everyone to come! Because a lot of people don’t wanna go to a bar on a Monday night, y’know? But they were all like, No, absolutely, we’ll be there. That was really sweet. Just seeing everyone show up and care -- seeing that this matters to them, too.”
Chloë’s memory is a physical one. Grinning, she holds up a framed collection of photobooth strips from each Sapphic Game Night.“ Mine is the photobooth! I love physical media so much, and I like having memories I can hold. It’s just fun; it’s my favorite part.” She also recalls a surprise attendee from last month’s event:“ There was this girl who I used to work with at Disneyland. And there’s not a lot of lesbians, or sapphic people [there]. I hadn’t seen her in months, and she felt safe enough to come alone just to make some more sapphic friends. She came from Anaheim, which is like an hour-long drive, by herself! And she’s coming to the next one!”
A chill, queer-focused community game night with a cause? Consider us obsessed. You can experience Sapphic Game Night for yourself this upcoming Monday, November 10th, at 4100 Bar. Bring a board game and a food item if you can (perishable and non-perishable items will be accepted)! The festivities start at 7:30 PM -- whether you come with friends or fly solo, a good time is absolutely guaranteed. No need to roll the dice!
