Relationships with Best Before Dates
Written by Heman
Image courtesy of Inspection Canada
Relationships with expiration dates deserve better PR. From fleeting summer romances to undefined connections with mysterious strangers met in Zanzibar, these time-bound relationships can be surprisingly meaningful. I argue that when guided by a clear intention or purpose, relationships with a deadline can not only be more fulfilling but also more effective than traditional long-term partnerships. Could expiration dating be a way to satisfy emotional needs while preserving one’s sense of self—something conventional relationships often fail to do?
For example, dating someone as a sort of“ palate cleanser” post-long-term relationship solves–or could solve– the objective of moving on from an ex. While genuine comfort with a partner is a beautiful—and often indescribable—feeling, there’s a fine line between comfort and complacency. The vulnerability that fosters intimacy in traditional relationships can sometimes blur into a dynamic that unintentionally sidelines personal ambitions. That long-dreamed-of solo trip, for instance, may quietly become a shared experience. And while there’s undeniable beauty in creating pivotal memories with a partner, there’s also something deeply affirming and self-defining about achieving a personal goal on your own. And perhaps more unsettling, the ongoing effort relationships require can slowly steer you away from your personal dreams, until the passion that once fueled them becomes a distant memory, or forgotten entirely.
When you’re in a relationship with the belief that you are going to be together for the foreseeable future, there is no clear measuring scale. It’s not like we conduct a quarterly business review on the success of our relationships ( I would love this actually). Granted, most people wouldn’t want to measure the success of their relationships in such an algorithmic way — and yes, it’s a reductionist impulse to wish that something as messy as affection could be metricized, like a quarterly report. I wish there was a way to bottle the warm feeling you get from your partner and weigh it, but there isn’t really.
Dating someone when you know your time together is limited can ironically be freeing. You're not tallying up minor red flags or anything. Instead, you get to be present and appreciate the person as they are, not as a projection of future compatibility. Whether I dated someone as a time filler during some sort of life transition, as a means of self-exploration and discovery or merely seeking connection without obligation, there was a clear intention. The relationship can be marked as“ successful” in a way that a traditional long-term relationship may not be able to.
Part of what makes expiration dating so alluring is the space it leaves for wonder. Would we have ended up with three kids, a dog, and a quaint blue house on a beach in some remote village in the Algarve? There’s a quiet intimacy in being able to imagine all the possible‘ happily ever after’ endings with someone from a short-term relationship —stories that live on solely because they were never tested by reality.
Expiration-date dating, in all its impermanence, offers a kind of clarity—one that traditional relationships often blur. It proves that the briefest of connections can be meaningful, especially when they leave us with a stronger sense of self and many untested maybes. After all, who isn’t productive with an approaching deadline?
