Written by Kaiden Bladon
Despite its surge in popularity, K-pop is often frowned upon. My parents, my family, and even my friends sometimes look at me funny when I talk about it. And yet, K-pop is the reason I’m alive. It is the reason why I chose to stay and the reason why I continue choosing it every day.
The first time I heard about K-pop, I frowned upon it too. There was sort of this pack mentality: if my friends didn't like it, then neither did I. I didn’t think about it much. A few years later, an animation popped up on my YouTube feed. I kept watching it over and over and over, not because of how much I liked the art, but because of how much I liked the music. It was unique, full of life, and it spoke to me like no other music ever has. I later found out that the song is called“ Chk Chk Boom.” To this day, it is one of my favorite songs. Finally, after a million and one repeats of the animation, I decided to figure out what the song was. The second I looked up the group, I felt like my whole world had exploded. They were called Stray Kids. It was something new, but it was something that felt like home.
For a while, I claimed that Stray Kids was the exception, that other K-pop didn't interest me. But the more I was exposed to them, the more I was exposed to other groups. Every new song, new member, new group, or new lyric took my breath away. Without even realizing it, I had given myself a reason to live. Mental health is a long, arduous journey, and depression and anxiety aren’t things that just easily disappear. But once I had something to help keep me going, something that would always be there even on the hard days, it was a lot easier.
The best day of my life was when I went to my first concert. It was a Stray Kids concert, naturally. For the first time in many years, everything felt okay. I felt like I was part of a huge family, and it was the perfect escape. I didn’t know anyone there, but it felt like we all shared the same heart in those few hours. Everyone was laughing and screaming and jumping up and down at the same things I was, just as excited as I was by something I had been embarrassed by. I normally hate loud noise, but the sound of the crowd roaring made me feel strangely calm. And of course, the music. It was good when I listened to it on my phone, but hearing it live was a whole different experience. After that day, things started to get even better. I slowly began to feel better. Every day felt a little less impossible.
Nowadays, I’m into quite a few groups. My favorite is still Stray Kids, but ATEEZ, i-dle, CORTIS, BTS, ILLIT, Hearts2Hearts, XLOV, LNGSHOT, and many more have joined the mix. Each group brings something new. ATEEZ’s powerful choreography, their stunning rap verses, and insane high notes will never fail to shock me. I found i-dle through Soyeon (who is my bias), and I was blown away by her. i-dle’s songs always have such powerful messages, and every member is so cool that I feel right at home as a Neverland. As a queer person, XLOV never fails to make me happy. I love seeing queer representation, especially in an industry that barely has any. XLOV makes such cool music and choreography, and seeing videos of them perform is always awesome. Finding new groups is always super fun, and as I continue to do so, I continue to heal. I still have hard days, but I like being alive now. I like waking up every day, and I would like to keep doing so for a long, long time.
“Finding new groups is always super fun, and as I continue to do so, I continue to heal. I still have hard days, but I like being alive now. I like waking up every day, and I would like to keep doing so for a long, long time.”
K-pop also helped me find a new hobby: dancing. It was always so cool watching K-pop dancers, because they’re so incredibly talented and passionate about what they do, and it made me want to try it too. I wasn’t very good at first, but I loved it. As someone who was always overthinking, always spiralling, dance felt freeing. When I dance, my brain suddenly goes quiet. All I can think about are the steps, the beat, every move connecting to the next. I can’t imagine my life without it now.
Most of all, K-pop makes me feel seen. I just wish that people would stop stigmatizing it, simply because the lyrics are in a different language or because the idols are of a different race or culture. Maybe someday, people will realize there’s nothing wrong with loving something different.
