Hinge’s New AI Feature Takes The Fun Out of Flirting
Written by Daphne Bryant
Image courtesy of Marc Giuffre
I never thought I’d see the day that dating apps (which are all about making human connections) force-feed inhumane prompts to users, but here we are!
AI is pervasive and manages to seep into every corner of our lives. Unless you turn these features off, every Google search automatically generates an AI overview, and every Pinterest scroll is bound to produce AI-generated content. Even Workspace has Google Gemini baked into it, so anytime I draft an email, the software—annoyingly—suggests AI alternatives to my already well-written response. But Hinge? Don’t tell me they got Hinge…
A few months ago, the popular dating app introduced a new AI feature. I was coming out of a relationship at the time of its inception, so I’ve only recently noticed it, but as soon as I did I felt a burning unease.
If you’re a Hinge warrior, you probably know that most matches go nowhere. People will like your profile but refuse to strike up a conversation, and if they do message you, it’s something boring like,“ Hey cutie” or“ How are you doing today?” I know this isn’t just a Hinge issue: in general, most people in their early twenties view dating apps the same way they do games, like a joke, like easy fun. Swipe, swipe, swipe… hot, kind of hot, not hot… worth my time, debatable, trash bin. It sounds a little dystopian and cruel when put that way, but the truth is that much of Gen Z are not actually looking for their soulmate on Hinge. We’re often looking for validation, entertainment, and maybe even a toxic situationship. Good conversation is a rare occurrence, and if you’re lucky enough to score a first date, a second one might not materialize. The app“ designed to be deleted” is only getting deleted because we’re all bored out of our minds.
To combat this user detachment, Hinge has launched“ Convo Starters,” which provides tailored tips for initiating conversation with internet baddies. Supposedly, the feature aims to“ inspire daters and boost their confidence when sending initial messages,” generating recommendations based on the photos and prompts in a match’s profile. User feedback indicated that 72% of Hinge daters are more likely to consider someone when a like is accompanied by a message, so Convo Starters is Hinge’s twisted way of getting people to speak the fuck up.
I hate it.
Essentially, AI is doing all the work of evaluating a match and coming up with a bold pick-up line. The art of flirting, yearning, and vulnerability is already disappearing, and this feature is only making matters worse. If someone’s profile says that they want to go to more events in LA, Hinge will suggest you compare weekend plans, recommend must-see spots, or ask this individual what their favorite LA events are; not bad ideas, but wouldn’t you rather browse the profile for yourself? Offer up curated ideas that come from your own brain and not a machine? For example, let’s say I’m chatting with a guy who’s a dancer and identifies as spiritual. I might suggest we go to a POC club event where dancing is the norm, or bring up the Red Bull Dance Your Style competitions, and ask if they’ve heard of it/been to one. Alternatively, if I know of an event with tarot vendors, I’d ask him on a date (we could test our romantic compatibility there), orif I’m feeling mysterious and want to create some intrigue, I’d say something fuckboy-esque, like“ Let me take you to all of my favorite events, I want to woo you,” or some shit akin to that. These are all just ideas I’m coming up with off the top of my head, but if I’m attracted to you and your vibe, I will put in the effort – I don’t need AI to tell me how.
In my opinion, it’s truly alarming that some people might be using AI to slide into my DMs. I would much rather someone be themselves, even if it’s not the“ perfect” message. I want you to use your sexy, awesome flirting skills, and if you’re not suave and, instead, kind of weird and off-putting… then that’s endearing too! You know what’s not endearing? Telling me, on a first date, that AI helps you pull.
Interestingly, Hinge published an article explaining that Convo Starters are meant to inspire, not write the message for you, but we all know that the people who use AI do get lazy. They start depending on it, allowing it to become this endless cycle of convenience, until their creativity, magic, and imagination is much harder to access.
Thankfully, one doesn’t have to subject themself to this AI-slop and torture. You can opt out of Convo Starters: access your Hinge settings, toggle the off button for the feature, and these“ personalized” tips will no longer be generated on your photos and prompt responses, nor will you see them on other users’ profiles. I highly recommend disabling this feature, because flirting is (obviously) more fun when it’s a challenge!
