Brittany Howard, I Love You

Written by Marion Johnson

I grew up with Brittany Howard. Her first band, Alabama Shakes, was my initial introduction into alternative music. I owe my many years in the indie space to her, which is a testament to how important it was for me to see a queer Black woman trailblazing in a space typically overrun with skinny white guys. Brittany Howard’s first solo album Jamie came out at just the right time in the fall of 2019. I was starting my freshman year of college, and months later, people found solace in her words while we were all stuck inside. This album is full of blues– meaning it can hurt, but in a comforting way. 

Its namesake is Brittany Howard’s late sister, Jamie, and the painstakingly personal nature of this album is felt throughout. Even so, when you feel the pain, you start to make that funky face, and then the bassline pierces your soul, and before you know it your head is moving back and forth because what she's saying is so true and real that you have no option but to move along.

“…when you feel the pain, you start to make that funky face, and then the bassline pierces your soul, and before you know it your head is moving back and forth because what she's saying is so true and real that you have no option but to move along.”

Jamie is one of those albums that you can listen to over and over again because it's 35 minutes short and flows seamlessly from one song to the next. There's no way to confine this album into a single genre, which people have been trying to do to Brittany Howard since she stepped onto the music scene. There are so many genres folded into Jamie, including psychedelic rock, neo-soul, folk, funk, R&B, and even gospel. Regardless of the style of the riff or whether she's using synth, electric guitar, or piano, you feel everything she's saying because she's being honest. I find no way to define Howard's musical style beyond it being true, real, and full of love.

Jamie is not my coming-of-age album; it is my second puberty album. Revisiting it has been a precious gift because it soothes my growing pains. I turned 25 last month, and that really did me in. My birthday had me quantifying everything I had accomplished in life and how much I had grown, which left me with an intense fear that I was running out of time. This album confronts the tension between growth and time that has been so real to me this Libra season.

“ I don't want tomorrow– Its promises, oh, its ache” - “ Presence”

Brittany Howard was turning 30 the year she recorded Jamie. She welcomes the future in some songs and is stricken with fear at its mention in others. Time seems to be the enemy as it separates Howard from where she is and where she wants to be. Yet there are plenty of times throughout the album that Howard craves progress because she doesn't want to“ go back” to some unknown location. The song“ History Repeats” reminds me that we can't avoid returning to these places, which we experience as the lows between life's peaks. We cycle through the hurtful moments of  breakups, loss, and disappointment. I never knew what my last therapist meant when she'd sayI had a propensity for growth, but I think Brittany Howard is expressing that exact phenomenon in Jamie. It means that I don't always push forward because I want to, but because I have to. In that way, I tap into my little sibling sensibilities and let Brittany take the first step in acknowledging that time can work against us, but growth is the only productive option.

“ We’ll give each other all of our best and then- time can do what it wants with it” - “ Short and Sweet”

Time is not the only enemy in Jamie. It's unclear how much Howard's 2018 divorce from her ex-wife contributed to the contents of this album, but somebody definitely hurt her. It is apparent, however, that nothing could stop the sapphic yearning. I don't know who the song “Georgia” is about, but they’re one lucky lesbian. In articulating the fantasy of an intimate moment with a crush, this must-listen-to song is classically queer–spiritual, genuine, and overwhelming in nature. Beyond the romantic lyrics, Jamie is just as much about lovers as it is about love.

“He loves me when I do what I want” - “ He Loves Me”

Brittany Howard identifies her faith through love. Though I’m not religious, it would be a disservice to write about Jamie and not mention religion. And trust me, you do not need faith to acknowledge that the second track,“ He Loves Me”, is one of the strongest on the album. Howard doesn’t question her faith when she asserts herself as loved in the eyes of God even when she’s“ smoking blunts and drinking too much.” Again, so real. This song is a perfect example of what I love most about this album. Jamie is not quite about becoming who you are; rather, it’s about accepting who you are. This album is incredibly conscious and decisive. Even when Howard sounds unsure of herself she shows agency in the decisions she makes.

“ Give it to love” - “ 13th Century Metal”

Surrendering to love is a decision that I am working towards. In what feels like an ode to Gil Scott-Heron’s seminal 1971 album Pieces of a Man,“ 13th Century Metal” reminds us that in this world, we are all brothers and sisters. From adolescence to adulthood, my relationship with politics has been tumultuous, but Howard displays a liberatory maturity in reminding me to love my enemy. Love can also mean protecting the vulnerable, advocating for those who cannot advocate for themselves, and trusting in yourself and your own betterment.

“ Everything is everything and everything is beautiful” - “ Stay High”

I must admit that I have a love for this album that is deeper than its contents. I love Jamie because it reminds me of home. I am homesick not only because Kansas City’s alternative radio loves the blend of soul and rock‘ n roll, but because Jamie is my best friend Kyla’s favorite album. Kyla loves Brittany Howard. When I was 14, before we were friends, I remember nervously complimenting her Alabama Shakes merch in the band locker room and filling with envy when she told me that she had seen Brittany Howard live. I still think of that moment as my first point of contact in establishing our friendship. Years later, Kyla and I went on a cross-country road trip to Montana, where she would not stop talking about how she wanted to learn how to fly fish because Brittany Howard knows how to fly fish. When I went away to college, Kyla sent me the song“ Stay High” and told me that she always thinks of me when it plays. Six years later, and I still think of her every time I hear it.

“ Stay High” is a sweet song about hanging out with your favorite person. It reminds me that as I grow and distance myself from the past, I should always admire the people that I love. I am no prophet when I say that life can get damn hard, but we have the strength to deal with the weight of reality when we remember what really matters. Jamie shows me that aging does not have to be lonely, that I was made to grow through companionship and community.

It’s not funny being free and wild - There's no joy all on your own - There's no weapon against this loneliness - Except my loving arms” - “ Run to Me”

This album has shown me that I can do everything with love. When I say Brittany Howard, I love you, it's not because I have a parasocial relationship with her. I actually don’t know much about her personal life. I say it because this album has made me feel loved, and I love this album. Love is not basic or immature; love is just as real as pain. Love is rock and roll. Love is the blues.

Brittany Howard, I love you.